Just Another Amuto, a Parody
by Pika-Thunder
Summary: Ever since Ikuto left four years ago, Amu has fallen into utter depression and her life fell completely apart. THIS IS A PARODY AND MOCKS THE REDUNDANT STORIES IN THIS FANDOM. IF YOU LIKE THEM, YOU WILL NOT APPRECIATE THIS. However, please read at your own discretion. My first Rated M story for sexual implications. An Amuto Parody! One-shot.


**Hello readers. Let me just announce quickly, even though it says it in the description and title, THIS IS A PARODY OF AMUTO STORIES AND THEIR REDUNDANCY. IF YOU WRITE/READ ANY OF THE 5000 AMUTO STORIES THAT AREN'T ORIGINAL, WELL, YOU WILL LIKELY NOT ENJOY THIS. KEEP IN MIND, IF SEXUAL IMPLICATIONS BOTHER YOU, DON'T READ. Also, there are no charas, so don't think I forgot them. Okay, now that _that's_ out of the way, let's move onto the story! I own absolutely nothing (especially the premises of these fanfics I am mocking), and enjoy. Oh, and also, there are a ton of gender stereotypes and ideas that I wholeheartedly disagree with. It just adds to the parody. **

_I need a prince._

No, not one of those princes that meets you one day and marries you. Not a Romeo. I mean, more like Prince Charming. I want my prince to wake me with true love's first kiss, and carry me away. I want him to rescue me from an evil queen or dragon, in this case, my terrible family. Others may argue, saying I already have a prince. Tadase Hotori is _not_ my prince. If you call him a prince, he goes absolutely insane and demands you call him king. Talk about weird. I knew my prince for a long time, but he left me, in search of something valuable; his father. It had been four years since I last saw him. However, I never would have expected my reunion with him to occur in health class.

The school day was long, more time without my lovely prince. I could care less about it. After I graduated from Seiyo Academy, I changed. I was no longer that sweet little girl that was hopelessly in love with two boys; now only one who left. I abandoned my friends, with the exception of Tadase Hotori. He clung to me, like a bee and honey. Boy, was sucking on that boy's nectar fun. However, my relationship with him was merely to be used to hide my lonesome for the man I long for. Tadase fulfilled my needs and did whatever I told him to do. He was gentle, but not awful.

Anyway, back to my day. The bell was about to ring, signaling the end of eighth period. I loathed math more than anything. I was in Math-X, the class they assigned to stupid kids, like me. And to think I was offered to be in Honors in Middle School...ha. However, the class after math was the one I hated more than everything; health. Health was merely a class where the teacher told you to not have sex unless you are married or use protection. I hate to break it to you sensei, but that philosophy went out of the window rapidly.

So, once the bell rang, I walked out of the door. Of course, my teacher stopped me. I paused, sighing. There was no point in arguing.

"Amu Hinamori, do you smell that awful odor?"

"No," I murmured. That wasn't even a lie. "Is that all you had to say?"

"It smells, quite similar to smoke. You seem to be the source of that. Is that a coincidence, or should I report it?"

"I'm not smoking. Can I go now?" The teacher hesitated, but nodded. I adjusted my bag, and sighed, heading towards health. When I opened the door, I quickly took my seat, and the bell rang right after me. My stomach hurt slightly, but I ignored the pain, knowing it was from last night when my father hit me.

"Hey Amu." I ignored the voice. My old friend, Rima, always said hello to me. What, did she think we were still friends or something? I could care less about her. Rima turned into this miss perfect type, scoring the second highest grades in the school, only behind her boyfriend. They were the cutest couple in the grade. Strangely enough, I used to tell Nagihiko all of my problems. Now, my problems wouldn't even fit in a book. And I wouldn't turn to that stupid nerd.

"Where's Kim-Sensei?" A voice wondered, scanning around. Our teacher had not arrived yet. I found that peculiar. She was _always_ on time. If punctual was a person, it would be my health teacher.

"Sorry, your teacher isn't here today." The voice sounded vaguely familiar. I knew I heard it before, but I couldn't place from where. However, I did not need to guess, for when he entered the room, I knew exactly who he was. My mouth dropped open. He didn't seem to notice me. He lifted the attendance sheet, and began to read off names. When he got to mine, his mouth formed a sly smirk.

"Amu Hinamori." I blushed. Each syllable he uttered of my name was like a song. My insides churned.

"I-I'm here..." My shy side showed, the way it did four-years-ago. His eyes met mine, and he smiled at me. Rima watched me, utterly appalled.

"All for me," He whispered quietly. He continued reading off names, raising an eyebrow at Rima when he said hers. "Well, I am your substitute. You can call me Tsukiyomi. Well, I'm supposed to teach you about the ways to protect against sexually transmitted condoms and the practice of abstinence, but that's stupid. Use condoms. Okay, lesson over. Go home." Rima opened her mouth to speak like the nerd she was, but she closed it, knowing there was no point. The class left the room, leaving just Ikuto and me.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're actually back," I squealed.

"I couldn't get away from seeing my little strawberry." I ran over to him, and embraced him tightly.

"I never want to part from you again. I want to be yours forever and ever," I whispered.

"Always," He promised. We separated, and he kissed me on the lips. It deepened and became passionate quickly. I leaned onto the desk, and allowed Ikuto to crawl on top of me. I reached to lift his shirt, but Ikuto put his hand on mine, stopping. He removed his lips from mine.

"I like the haste, but we're in a school."

"I don't give a crap." I tried to kiss him again.

"Patient Amu. We will, I've been waiting four years for this, but I need to get a hotel room for us. I'll pick you up from your house at five o'clock promptly. We'll get some dinner, and then, we'll have some fun."

"Fine..." I stood up reluctantly.

"I am pleased to see you've grown up,"

"I couldn't just stay locked in a time capsule and desperately wait for you." Ikuto smirked, and kissed me gently.

"See you later." He hopped out of the window. I stood there, thinking about everything for a moment. My heart was beating faster then ever before. I left the room, and hurried out of the school. On my way out, I passed the cheerleaders. They were practicing loudly, howling ridiculous chants that served no point. I noticed one of the freshmen on the team, following the movements accordingly. I was not surprised she made the team; Yaya was always so energetic. She slowly turned to face me, but looked away quickly. I rolled my eyes, and left the school.

"Amu-Chan!" I heard Tadase's voice call. I rapidly faced him, and smirked. He was my puppet, and I could play with him however I chose.

"Hey Tadase. I don't want to speak to you because we're broken up."

"W-What?!"

"You heard me. Adios." Tadase's face was stricken with melancholy. "Oh don't act so surprised; it's not like you were going to last." I sped up, walking away from him. Each step I took, my stomach seemed to hurt more.

I arrived at my house, and stormed up the stairs to take Advil.

"You're not even going to greet us?!" I faced my father, after swallowing a pill. I smiled falsely.

"Hello daddy! It's _so_ nice to see you. I love you sooooo much," I muttered sarcastically.

"You bitch!" He screamed. I don't even know why my parents were mean to me; they were so nice once. Oh well. He lifted his fist, and raised it to my face. Suddenly, someone was in front of me, holding the fist.

"Don't you _dare_ touch her!" Ikuto hissed angrily, punching my father. My eyes sparkled. He carried me bridal-style, and left my house.

"Thank you so much! I love you!" I whispered, hugging him.

"Love you too. You won't go back there. You'll stay with me. Well, shall we go get some dinner?" I smirked inwardly.

"I'd prefer to skip dinner and cut to the chase." Ikuto smirked as well.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Without putting me down, he carried me to the hotel, and led me to the room. Once we were inside, I kissed him, my lips meeting his passionately. He returned it, and it was perfect, much better than Tadase would ever do. I felt him remove my shirt, and I did the same to him. Once all of our clothes were thrown across the ground, I felt Ikuto throw me onto the bed. He crawled on top of me, and kissed again.

* * *

My eyes slowly opened, and I found myself face to face with Ikuto. He watched me, his eyes bright. He was still shirtless. I moved closer to him, and allowed him to hug me.

"You are beautiful Amu Hinamori. You are literally perfection."

"Can't say anything different about you." I kissed him gingerly, before feeling like my stomach was about to explode. I moaned quietly, and sat up. Ikuto watched, as I put my clothes on. My heart started beating rapidly.

"What's up?" Ikuto called curiously.

"I'm going to, um, get coffee! You want some?"

"No thanks. Come back soon." I nodded, and hurried out. I headed to the pharmacy, and quickly ran down an aisle. I picked up the item I needed, and purchased it. The cashier looked at me, shaking her head slowly in disapproval. I ignored her, and went to the bathroom. I took out the item, and checked it. Slowly, it clicked from side to side, until it finally stabilized. It was positive.

**Let me just say that was the most inappropriate thing I have ever written. I honestly did not expect my parody to be that suggestive. Well, I hope you enjoyed, and the ending...well, it was not-so subtle what happened, and if you're confused, feel free to ask me! If you figured it out, well, you will never know with whom...muahaha. Please review and alert and favorite me (I usually write dark, not inappropriate, RimaHiko fics). **


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